In the last few weeks I’ve done a few things in fear:

• Looked into getting back into practicing clinical medicine, volunteering my time to help in the ‘pandemic’ – would take a few weeks of hardcore work and test taking (I got physically ill after doing this).
• Texted a recruiter at my old company and asked if I can get back on board- she was excited about the possibility and sent me the paperwork to start on.
• Shared a plea from an ER/ICU doc in NYC and begged my colleagues to spread the word- not completely convinced that the new ‘technology’ they’re asking for is necessary and believe that learning to use the breath is a worthwhile venture.
• Contacted old employers in Austin and El Paso to see who needed the most help – both said they were happy to have me back, but that volumes are way down.

And not in fear, but in total curiosity, I began talking to friends in acute and hospital healthcare around the world and they all say that work is slow, patient load is down and many are being sent home or not getting the hours they need to make a living. So much for job security in healthcare.

Do you feel 100% comfortable, safe and taken care of during this curantena? If you do, this is not for you.

But if the current narrative and extreme measures of separation feel off to you, but you can’t quite place your finger on it, I got you. I feel you. I see you. If you feel that we’ve been told what to do for the greater good, but aren’t exactly aligned with what that greater good is, I understand. If you’re following all the precautions and following all the rules because you’re in fear mode and afraid of ‘infecting’ someone else or becoming infected, I understand. The world of medicine is a complex and the intricacies of the germ theory are complicated, so naturally if you’re told that wearing a mask and disinfecting everything will protect you, you’re going to follow it to a t. If you’re a scientist or in medicine, perplexed about all the ‘precautions’ that are being taken, but also see the endless cross-contamination in each exchange, each drop of air, I’m in confusion right there with you. Especially because most of us who work or have worked with highly infectious respiratory diseases know the protocol for N95 mask fitting is strict and exact and doesn’t leave much room for error. Plus it is disposed of after leaving a negative-pressure exam room (one that doesn’t have recirculated air), so these fabric ones are not exactly doing much but recycling your potentially contaminated air.

I’m all about spreading the light, sharing the love, but in this moment in time, what is eating away at me is the elephant in the room that many feel, but few are discussing. And I get it, its scary to put yourself out there with a contrasting narrative, but now is the time, now is the moment.

As Yolande Norris Clark stated, “Resistance is celebration”. And though I’ve never been outspoken about my resistance, my life would prove to be one of frequent rebellion.

There isn’t much that I’m passionate about more than assisting, educating and empowering humans to find the healer within. It was my motto for Shiny Healthy People, established in 2012. For eight years, I worked in medicine practicing giving the power back to the patient. I didn’t realize until recently that I was simply returning it to its rightful owner.

And now, almost 3 years later to the day that I left clinical medicine and four months after leaving the professional all together, I’m back to this story, I’m back to you.

I know that I went to school to study medicine. I acknowledge that I know more about pathology, neurology, endocrinology, pharmacology, and every other -ology (including virology because I had a personal obsession with viruses from early on) than the general population. I know that I can diagnose a disease/illness and create a list of differentials based on symptoms and presentation. I know that I can spout out the mechanism of action of ARB’s and ACE’s. I know how to revive a life (if it is meant to stay) back from death whether they are in anaphylaxis or full cardiac code.

But I also know that every one of my tens of thousands of patients in my 20 years in healthcare and 12 years in practice, knew what was happening within. And if they were pediatric patients, their mama, papa or guardian did. They just needed to brush away the fear and anxiety around illness/disease and worst-case scenario in order to hear and see it. I know this because I’ve been witness to it. I know this because we all have the answers within us. I know this because after ‘studying’ patients and humans for two decades this is my crucible truth.

When I started practicing more holistic, integrative, give power back to the patient medicine, I had to remove my ego from all interactions. What conventional, allopathic medicine teaches patients is that they are weak, vulnerable, susceptible, powerless and at the mercy of a disease, illness and expert. That something within them needs to be fix, because something within them is broken.

The current narrative is forcing this same ‘truth’. The rule makers, experts and national and international organizations are telling this same story, this same disempowering narrative. They are telling us that we and our bodies are weak, vulnerable (or a certain populations are vulnerable), susceptible and powerless and keeping our minds in a state of hypervigilance, worry and fear.

And if you’ve ever called yourself an integrative, holistic, alternative, complementary, functional medicine practitioner, then you know deep down inside that this the polar opposite of what we’re out to teach our patients.

“The philosophy behind integrative medicine is a focus on all stages and aspects of an individual’s care, placing the patient at the center and making individuals responsible for and involved in their own health. The physical, mental, social, spiritual, environmental, and other states of being must be considered to ensure that patients receive the highest quality and most comprehensive and coordinated care possible.”

Dr. Judith Salerno, MD, MS

“Making individuals responsible for and involved in their own health”, where are we in all this? And how are we caring for the mental, social, spiritual, environmental states of being when all we’re led to do is physically distance and physically build our immunity? What is the message we’re sending about health when we talk about masking yourself, but encourage social distancing, isolation and not even mentioning the power of community, hugs, whole foods, prayers, self-sovereignty, joy, creativity, movement, nature or the 1000’s of other ways to maintain health and wellness?

And what is the message we’re sending our children? Do we want our children, the future, to feel and believe that they are inherently harmful and dangerous just by being physically present in the world? F no. I know for certain I don’t want my daughter to feel that EVER.

It is all fear. Fear hijacks our logic, our reason, our common sense and allows outside forces to run the show. And because most humans are balls of trauma running around, we get used to and find familiarity in the scare, in the suffering, in the false safety of ‘someone is looking out for me’ when they tell me what to do. We’re also little kids just looking for guidance and a leader. I know. I’ve been that little kid too.

So when I say rogue healers know the truth, it’s because we do. And the days of silencing are over. Thank goodness. Fear of speaking out for risk of being burned at the stake is for another reality. We invite attention to our declarations. We have to. Changing clinician behavior before the general population has proven to be the precedent time and time again.

So we’ll speak the truth, we’ll make the changes, we’ll model the shift, but this time you’ll say ‘I felt it all along. Next time I won’t listen to someone outside of me. I’ll trust myself’

And I know that most humans and all mamas around the world who aren’t loving on their children, hugging their besties or visiting their loved ones because the government, the ‘leaders’, the ‘experts’ say we have to stay away from each other aren’t 100% on board. That there is something unnatural about these mandates that don’t exactly jive with our inner knowing.

As I laid on the side of the bed where my dad slept for decades, 3 am, restless and writing like my hands were on fire, my papa sent me a message. I went to sleep before writing it down for exactness, but it went something like this:

If something or someone fundamentally compromises justice, freedom or our basic human rights, it is your responsibility and obligation to speak out and take action.

Matias “Benny” Benedicto

He was an activist, a protester, a speaker of truth, a healer, a peace bringer, a light worker and the kindest soul you ever did meet. He took the oath “First do no harm” as well. And he came to me to make sure his legacy was carried on as strongly as it is in our daughter.

So I ask you to follow that feeling of dissonance within you and ask some questions about the narrative that is being so widely told. Ask your inner voice if it really feels right, feels healthy, to stay away from each other, as social creatures that we are.

My invitation for the truth is always to go within. Listen to your inner voice and wisdom for how to navigate your days. If it feels good to walk around with a mask on, go ahead. But if it doesn’t, then don’t. It’s all volunteer. If you’re sensitive, remember people may stare and say something. Just send them love and move along. If it feels good to hug your loved ones and invite them into your home, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t.

My questions to all are here, because it always goes back to our kiddos:

Do we want our children to feel and believe that they are inherently harmful and dangerous just by being physically present in the world?

Do we want them to believe that just because you reach a certain age or are labeled with a certain diagnosis, you’re instantly vulnerable, weak and susceptible to any and all illness?

Do we want to model to them that the only way to maintain wellness is to put a mask on and stay away from other human beings, including family? That there aren’t other ways to boost health and healing like hugs, laughter, prayer, joy, creativity, movement, nature, community or breath?

If you’re a fully functional and capable human being, whatever your age and you are allowing someone else to tell you where to go, who to hang out with, what to do with your body and mind and how to live your life, then it is a sign of how disempowered we are as a society.

And for the sake of our children and the New Earth that is on its way, I’m speaking out.

It’s time to get this self-sovereignty party started.

Don’t just listen, follow or trust me. Go within first and hear what you have to say. Then maybe check out some other healers who are speaking out:

• Dr. Kelly Brogan – Self-empowerment, fear releasing and inquiry
• Dr. Melissa Sell – German New Medicine, we’re perfect, whole & healed already, germ theory challenger
• Knut Wittkowski – Epidemiologist challenging the current narrative
• Sayer Ji – Research-based evidence on this moment in time
• Dr. Ben Lynch – Naturopath speaking out, simplifies and distills journal article for simple digeestion
• Dr. Bruce Lipton – NY Times bestselling author, Biology of Belief
• Dr. Scott Jensen – Integrative MD who is whistle blowing on the CDC and their mandates to doctors
• Yolande Norris-Clark – Writer and birth educator
• Em Strong – our village mate, school psychologist turned comedian, truth speaker, writer, dance parT starter.

Thank you for reading. I love you.