Maggie, Mexi/Domincan brings limes and training underoos for my girl,
“These were too small for Maya, never opened, thought you could use them.”,
“How old was she when she learned?” I ask,
“I had just gained custody, she was about 3”. She’s light and bright as she tells me the stories of incarceration, drugs and court dates. “I just want what’s best for Maya, best case for all, my girl deserves it, all kids do”
Mrs. Robinson, smiles from across our walk. She clips lilies from her front yard and hands them to M Sol. ” I’d love to grow some flowers like yours, they’re so beautiful and smell good too.”
“Girl, come get your flowers from here, anytime, any day.”
“You doing ok, Mrs. Robinson?”,
“I’ve never been better, feel good, blessed, don’t even need my doctor anymore, my aches are gone, praise God”.
“What do you think about the world?”
“Oh darling, it’s a beautiful day, the sun’s out, the birds are singing, I can walk, talk, cut some flowers for your blessed child, the world is good, God is good”
I passed a woman on my walk today, looking like a goddess on her way to a memorial. I told her that she looked beautiful and she said “It’s a sad day for my family, but I can still celebrate by being the queen I am”.
And was she ever.
Inspired me to stand a little taller and walk a little lighter. Crown on for the rest of the day.
Ana, housegoddess, skin care extraordinaire, came up from San Luis to make an amazing life for herself. No more husband, pandemic, single motherhood, work went away, life closed in.
Then life expanded, said she grew emotionally, mentally, spiritually. She reunited with love, daughter grew and opened more, work came back. She danced, she laughed, she connected.
“Mejor estar loca y feliz, que a dentro y triste” she told her mama when she refused to stay home.
“Si estas triste, ves la tristeza en el mundo, si estas feliz, ves a todo el mundo feliz”
If you’re sad, you see the world as sad. If you’re happy, you see the whole world as happy.
There is sister, a whirlwind of up down and merry go rounds in her life and now if you know her, you know her current journey.
“How do you see the world, CO?”
“I see the world as God’s playground. I believe that each and every one of us is exactly who God most wanted to be at the moment of our birth.”
Mexican immigrant, came here with daughter and sister long ago. Built a life of her dreams, so that we could build our own.
“Mama, how’s today?”
“Baby, I’ve been so well. I’m at peace, my migraines are gone, I sleep all night from 9 pm to 4 am, walk 6 miles a day with these crazy dogs, I don’t know what it is, but I feel so good.”
And into the world, sharing her heart and soul with all she comes in contact with, leaving her mark without saying a word.
I look to my daughter, kaleidoscope eyes of awe and wonder. Sleeps 14 hours a day, eats like a champ, plays, plays, plays.
Nothing and no one phases her. Max time of crying a couple minutes. Joy and love are her birthright. Abundance and peace just as well. She spreads cheer wherever she steps.
The whole neighborhood knows her as the “queen of the garden” and all she does is wave, smile and look you straight in the eye, right into your soul.
None of these souls are suffering. None of these spirits are barely hanging on.
Yes there is pain. Yes there is struggle. Yes there is poverty. Yes there is hurt and sadness and suffering.
But not one of these people is asking for us to save them. Not one is begging for a hero.
I see them saving themselves. I see them being the hero of their own story.
When we shine our brightest light, we not only give others permission, but set the stage and setting for them to do the same.
The outside world, the news, the socials, the programs would have me believe otherwise.
I refuse to read those words as my truth. I’m reading the news in front of me, the real life human expressions of the most resilient spirits I’ve ever known.
They speak and tell me of how they’re thriving, blessed and living their best.
The life before me is the proof of the truth of how our inside world colors our outside one.
There are days I wake and I can’t breathe. I’ve tossed and turned all night, thinking about the chaos. I force myself out of bed and fire emerges from all sides of me.
I try my best to be my best, but it just isn’t coming. M Sol feels it, husband feels it, compound feels it. Even the cardinals refuse to come around on days like this. Often the sun does too.
Days like today, I wake up with intention. My husband lets me slumber a little longer. My daughter comes in, but leaves swiftly as she feels my need for space.
I stretch, I move, I breathe, I exhale, exhale, exhale. I write, I reiki precepts, I meditate, I ground, I center, I Ommmmmmm.
I shake, I move into myself and breathe into what feels good in each moment, then the next and the next.
I see the sun. I say 10 things I’m grateful for. I get up and start to feel the excitement of a new day.
I emerge from my lions den and into the world. It’s sweeter, easier, calmer, brighter and lighter.
I remember these words, “my inside world colors my outside one”, each syllable echoing my truth.
The news no longer phases me. The negative no longer touches my thoughts. The darkness and despair they write melt into poetry that drips like honey off my screen.
The outside noise and chaos turns into soft harmonies and sweet melodies.
My outer world a symphony of cumbias, merenges and cha cha cha.
And here I go, dancing, dancing, dancing.
Que la vida es un carnaval y las penas se van cantando.